IHS Tattler – Late April 2020 Edition

East and West United in Stunning Victory by Returning King

As the stars, prognosticators and of course, himself predicted, the King Of Catan returned with a vengeance last night to regain his throne. Left bloodied and bruised in defeat were the former chancellor, Justin, the former Prince of Nottingham now of no fixed address the former Prince John now Baron Barren and of course the Witch of the Wood,
Karen. This reporter has never seen the likes of it! Not only did King Misha take back the Crown of Catan but he followed that up with the Victory of the Century in Century and now has the dual titles of King of Catan and Sultan of Spice. A unification of titles such as this has not been seen since 324 AD when Constantine The
First unite the Holy Roman Empire in the west with Byzantium in the East (pictured below).

Written by Scribe Steven

Box Scores

Final scores:
King of Catan: 10 pts.
Chancellor of Catan: 7 pts.
Former Prince of Catan: 7 pts.
Witch of the Wood: 6 pts.

From the Stands

From high up in the stands, amongst the rabble of the realm chewing turkey legs and swilling mead, it was clear from the first placement by Misha that the king was back and that the throne would be regained. The King played a classic Ore-Wheat-Sheep game winning with 4 cities and largest army. A meaningless attempt to block the King’s road resulted in a heated dispute, blaming and name-calling that this reporter is loathe to repeat in a publication of this calibre. Suffice it to say, even with the King’s assistance in actualizing the road blockade, it was a fruitless attempt as any seasoned veteran of Catan campaigns knows, that longest road is not typically part of a winning strategy in an O-W-S game. This was over before it even started.
Written by Herald Harold

Witch of the Wood

The Witch of the Wood, abandoned by her puppet master Dave “The Snake” Tom, was left powerless, wandless, brickless, wood portless and mouseless, having trouble even picking up and keeping track of her cards. The snake himself ran from the main stage to contest with sheep herders, wood cutters and brick layers in a match that they still have not completed. Oh, how the wicked have fallen. Long Live the King!
Written by Crier Christopher

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