IHS Tattler – Early April 2020 Edition

Chaos in the Empire

In a stunning two days, the empire has been turned upside down.  First in an epic struggle, two upstart rivals to the seats of power of Catan, brazenly challenged the landed gentry. The rebellion of Sir Scott in the South Baronry of Brickwood was put down whilst Sir Emmett of Skulkington, taking advantage of the Emperor’s forces entangled in the south, built up his resources in the north enough to withstand a concerted effort by the united forces of Catan, including the recently defeated Sir Scott, taking the Emperor’s Throne which left the empire in shock. Weakened himself by the onslaught from the south, Sir Emmett had nothing left to face an unexpected challenge by a lowly shepherd boy who had come down from the hills to attend an open air music festival at the market and ended up filling the vacuum left by the warring nobles. His stampeding sheep, and strong brick throwing arm befuddled the sophisticated armies of the nobility who scoffed at his initial placement picks and poor resources. Some whispered that he had made a deal with the witch of the woods and the snivelling snake Sir Dave and his spinning dice to weigh the dice in his favour but at the time of  printing this has not been proven. Whatever the reason the new Emperor is Charles of Cedarwood, a would be Robin Hood, a voice of the commoners but still a flocker of sheep.  We’ll see if he has what it takes to keep his throne and deal with the current Upper Class of Catan Royalty which includes Prince Misha, King Misha & The Wiz Misha.
Written by Scribe Steven

Investigative Report: Dicey Dice?

It has come to this reporters attention that many attending the Lists, Games and Forum have been mumbling about fixed dice, manipulated dice and non-random dice. The Prince King Wiz was said to be irate at the recent proliferation of 10’s and 5’s being rolled to the exclusion of other numbers.  A royal investigation has been ordered and this reporter is on the story.  To date, it has been learned that the dice are controlled by physics (apparently) and that some scripted games do have a generator where you press a button and it displays a number.  It is still not clear to what degree the hexes of the Witch of The Wood or the sneaky last second spin move of Sir Dave the Snake altering a 1 into a 4 are involved but the investigation is ongoing.
Written by Herald Harold

The King’s Wrath

The King of Catan is said to be in a rage at what he claims is a travesty in the realm with a lowly crying wolf shepherd boy on the Emperor’s Throne.  He has demanded the Lists tonight to Any and All comers for whatever seat they may wish to contest.  See the Royal Events Section at the Virtual Community Board. Long Live the King!
Written by Crier Christopher

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